Pumpkin

Posted at 10:29:42 am

I'm amazed yet again at the power of this program.

I really didn't want to go back to that place yet again. Just the thought of going back to that place was scaring the heck out of me. I was trying to keep from going, ignoring what was happening, not letting myself feel what was happening to me. I remember the work it took to climb out of the place, and I didn't know if I would have the strength to crawl back out again.

After having a day full of some great lows for me, feeling hopeless over the depression that seems to have enveloped me, I just did "the next right thing" and went to my f2f meeting last night. Even though I had to juggle some schedules to get there, no one questioned or judged why I was going ( hp at work yet again I'm thinking ) cause if that would have happened, I would have not went and just retreated back to that deep dark place.

I went to my f2f, only to find the topic was powerlessness. WOW  How true is that. I'm sooooooo powerless over this personal hell that I live with. I went to soak up others esh. As the meeting progressed I heard other things. Use the steps to work through problems in your life

Another clue that I had totaly overlooked and thought that I didn't need to apply to this situation. As the book went around the room and came to meet, I shared my personal struggle and how my Hp was once again opened my eyes, sent the right messages at the right time, and how I learned that I can use this program for something that I didn't think would work.

I was living my own little snowglobe again, with the door locked and myself inside again living in that deep dark place. Trying to ignore the outcome and hope that everything will work out. But without acknowledging what's happening, how can it change. Denial in it's finest form once again.  But I've open unlocked that door again and reached out and learned that once again...I'm not alone

Amazing what our Hp can teach us if only we have a little trust that some how, some way, things work themselves out. I've learned once again, that my HP has a bigger plan and I just need to sit and listen and I'll be shown the way. I'm still a work in progress