Pumpkin

The last little while, I have felt that uneasiness start to creep back into my life again. Today, it seems to have hit me, and I find myself falling fast back into a deep depression that I have suffered many many times over and over again. I do suffer from depression. There is a very very strong family history of it in my family. I can feel it rearing it's ugly head once again.

I feel like I just want to shut myself off to the world. Give me some food, tv, computer, movies, books, painting supplies. I want to escape from everything around me. I watnt to be by myself where no one needs or wants anything from me. I have no energy anymore and feel like I've got 2 pianos tied to my arse and have a million things to do and want to do, but just lack the energy to get anything done. Just the everday tasks I need to do zap what little energy I have in me.

Maybe this is my Hp's way of saying " Pumpkin hon, you need to just slow down ". After a very very busy spring and summer without alot of down time, maybe I'm just burned out. Sigh...I just don't know. All I know is what I'm feeling. At least I'm aware that it's happening. All I know right now is that I have to tighen my tool belt and goggles for my perception and hold on tight for the bit of serenity I do have. After all...I'm a work in progress