Without sleep, I tend to meditate...I feel...I feel the world...

the oceans...the gulf...sigh

the losses...fish, people, dolphins, birds...

the hope... that we will make conscious decisions...

the despair...when will we learn...

the judgment and the helplessness...

I wonder in the night...

as fireworks celebrate freedom...

freedom of choice...

free will...

freedom from the known.

I pray we wake up... embrace each other... and know that we are all in this together. I pray we make wiser decisions, appreciate diversity, and have compassion for all... but most of all, I pray that I have the courage to change.

Link: http://www.amarjah.com

A night of interactive dreams involving friends, acquaintances, and world events. Such a powerful conversation with my surgeon - one who spent years reconstructing my face and making it all fit together so well after the car accident. We weathered his cancer, his gall bladder removal, cataract removal, and his uncertain future and still managed 29 surgeries or so. I spoke with him of alternative methods of healing, or energy, and faith. At times I was his only patient.

We drew courage from each other.  I owe a great deal to this accomplished man. I do not know if this was his transition night; I only know that he knows how to leave his body. I wish him well - wherever he is.

A lunar eclipse marks beginnings, endings, exposure and major changes in "relationships". Actions provoke unexpected results, but also bring awareness and enlightenment. The energy of an eclipse is at its strongest during the two days before and three days after its occurrence.

At this powerful time, what changes are you making in your life?

Work in Progress... Under Construction

I don't care what you look like, I want to see the strength in your eyes.

The money you make means nothing next to the time you spend.

That your heart is bigger than your wallet means much more to me.

Your ability to speak up with courage and conviction are honored trademarks.

While you aren't scared to take on a fight, you don't go looking for one.

I've seen you laughing like a fool...and crying like a baby.

We argue and unabashedly move to the next right thing.

yet the things I learned

it's ok to share where I am right now...

to be confused, hurt, lonely...

wondering WHY in the heck did this disease come into MY life?

I've learned that feeling what I feel ...

without denial...is ok.

there ARE problems...

some are mine, some are others.

Mine are the ones I can fix.

There is no magic pill to solve all my issues...

but i have learned if I face them...

they shrink down to a manageable size when confronted with my Higher Power...

I've learned it is ok to have a difference in opinion...

HOW to present it...has been a gift of alanon

I've learned I did NOT cause the addict to use, the Gulf Oil Spill or the devasting rains...

but I know my part in them.

So the Alanon program taught me HOW to change

ME!

and I have become a happier, and HEALTHIER person in working the steps

with a sponsor

and giving back to the fellowship that taught me so much.

Namasté.

Wisdom does not necessarily come with age, but what an honor when it does.
"Happy Birthday," I offered cheerily, but knowing underneath the smile lay the bad gift.

Another year older beats the alternative hand, but not always. The frail woman in the hospital bed was alert and coherent for the first time in days. She knew who I was. . . one of her last kin. She smiled weakly and we talked of old times for a few minutes.

I asked pointed but polite questions and she answered them with intelligence and grace. She wanted no extraordinary means to prolong her life...no feeding tubes, no breathing apparatus for her, no resuscitation. She wanted to be out of the hospital. However, my mission as her next of kin was to discuss her situation with the hospital personnel - her case manager, the nurse practitioner, the doctor and the social worker. Their recommendations along with mine...were to do the next right thing.

The lady's eyes teared when she was told by her friend, "You can't go home again."

"But it won't be the same," she protested.

I couldn't lie to her. It wouldn't be the same. It would never be the same. She had lost her freedom and mobility and her fate determined by others who shared her ancestors.

She was going to become a part of system to deal with the elderly. It is our way of dealing with the unpleasantries of life.

With grace, she came to acceptance, "If that is what the good lord wants for me, then who am I to question?"

I wanted to touch her hand, but she was in too much pain to move it. She had no resentment or questions. There were simply no more alternatives. Her days of living alone were over.

As I visited her apartment to determine what needed to be released and to find the pertinent paper work for the legal documents, I saw her life: neatly folded linens, papers organized, family pictures on the walls that no one would want, keepsakes from loved ones who past before her, marriages, friends, and family ties. Her family line ended with her as mine does with my death.

She requested that "drinking hymn" for her funeral. Shalom, Mena.

For months one can ignore the Facebook temptation until a long lost friend contacts. Careful... the social network is collecting data on you. That cute application or game you just played? Look at your privacy settings - your terms and conditions allow your friends to release information on you. Yes, you can change them, but you have to be AWARE to change them. Notice the like buttons on websites - that data is being transferred to and from your friends.

So - you're not hiding anything...why should you be concerned?

• Party at my house Saturday... bring your own stuff? posting time and address
• Your 13 year old daughter announces she is alone everyday after school.
• A stalker decides to visit you in person
• Your photograph is used in a major advertising campaign without permission
• Your job interviewer asks about that New Year's party celebration photo
• Your family history is online including your birthdate that allows some to find access to your bank accounts

By the way, here is a spiffy little tool to help you determine if your facebook data is protected and to help you regain privacy.

Data mining - search your own info on spokeo.com . Yes, some of the info is erroneous, but they are obviously mining the web aggregating your info.

Privacy may be difficult if not impossible. In London, you may be filmed and photographed several times daily just walking down the street. Your photographs on the web can be utilized by anyone no matter how hard you strive to protect them. US copyright law means little when Google has scanned your entire book on the web.

Become aware. In universal law recorded in such things as the Akashic Records there are no secrets. There is only the illusion we are separate and private. Until then, SMILE and say Cheese.