As I said in an earlier post, I have been thinking a lot about my ex fiancee.  I am away teaching for the weekend, too tired to go to dinner.  I rec'd an odd email that said someone (by his name) was looking for me on mylife.   I googled him, and found out he died of alcoholism the day after his birthday, in December.  He died at 46.

The tears have been flowing since.  I called his mother, we spoke for an hour, cried.  I always knew this would happen, I feared it, you cannot drink like he did and not have it affect you.  His liver was shot.  He stopped drinking for a while and then went back to it.

Jim was to date, the love of my life.  I adored him.  We had a wonderful life for many years until progression.  He was a very good, kind, loving, funny, intelligent man.  He was extremely handsome, or maybe that is what I saw.  He was very very good to me for many years.   We had a lot of fun together, and I have never stopped loving him, I just couldn't go down with him.  His drinking was way out of control, progression.  I had to save myself, and I did.

The disease doesn't have him anymore.  He is at peace.  My heart is bleeding, my eyes are tearing.  He was a very good man with a very bad disease.

God speed Jim, God speed......

in tears,

vt